Come on Nige, mate.

I recorded an episode of Nigel Slater’s simple foods and just watched it a minute ago.

He took a bottle of supermarket sweet chilli sauce, poured it on a baking tray, put the prawns in it, grilled it, then served it to some fisherman with some lettuce.

The look on their face was priceless. Here they had a truly superb cook, a moment on the tele and must have been expecting something original and delicious. Instead, they got a nervous breakdown on a plate.

Jesus, Nigel.

I think he’s losing the plot.

ANYWAY

I have a recipe coming soon, but I made it today and it didn’t turn out like I had it in my head.

Adjustments must be made, Mr. President.

So I’ll be back at ya soon with something funky fresh, fully vibrant and that pumps out nyum like a fire hydrant. PEACE

 

Not Quite Huevos Rancheros

I’ve been working like a total bitch recently.

I remember once I had to gravel my auntie’s front garden. Sounds easy, but her front garden probably spans the same area size as my house. I was so not used to hard work like that. I was flobbering full of lazy-induced flab – But I remember when I finished, and sat down for dinner – The food and the beer tasted better than any food or dinner I’d had before.

So it turns out that when you work hard, your spare time is much more enjoyable. The only downside I’m experiencing of this life is that now I don’t drink so much anymore, I’m getting hammered pretty easy.

This spicy little number cured my woes one special mornings, where I awoke to find that the world around me was slowly tearing into two and my ears and brain had created a canal of searing pain between them where Italian men pushed their boats down screeching opera on the topic of impending doom and sad regret.

Welcome to Hangover Cure Centrale! I’ve fused inspiration from the puelo huts of Mexico, the rivers of italy and the… Erm… Whatever they have in Switzerland. Three countries, one fantastic breakfast.

Tri Eggs.

For this you will need:

1 green pepper
1 medium sized brown onion
1 tin chopped tomatoes
Garlic
Cumin
Chilli Powder
1/4 of a courgette
Gruyere cheese  (or any other good melting cheese)
Eggs

So simple. Cut up your green pepper, courgette and half a medium onion. Your pepper should be in 1cm squares, your onion diced and your courgette sliced, baby.

Chuck the peppers and onion in a pan with some olive oil first, adding a dash of cumin and chilli powder and cook for about 6-7 minutes or until soft – adding your courgette a few minutes before the end. Then add your chopped garlic clove for another minute.

Then a tin of chopped tomatoes and cook for another 5.

Salt, pepper to taste. Pour into a bowl, make a few craters in the sauce and drop eggs into them. Smother with gruyere cheese (or whichever you like) and stick it under the grill until the eggs are cooked.

Wow wa wee wah!

PEACE

Word…

What’s up foolz!?

Picture the setting: In the deep south-east suburbs of London, where grey and concrete nullify the creativity of the mind, I would leave school and return to my Auntie’s house where I would wait until my Mum finished work to pick me up.

And then home we went.

With both parents drudging out the 9 to 5, dinner would be a real beaut of turkey burgers from the freezer, chips from the freezer and Heinz baked beans from the damp cupboard.

(We had a lot of damp).

So I’d love to get all Nigel Slater here and talk about the food education my family gave me, or the wondrous recipes that have been handed down from generation to generation, but that wouldn’t really be the truth.

We were part of the generation that TV cooking and cookbooks have been marketed towards for the past 10 years. See: 15 Minute meals! Quickeats! Speed-Food! How to shat out your dinner on the run!

Yeah, we all have a lot less time these days. Mostly because when we get in from work we don’t want to make dinner for an hour and risk missing the start of that TV programme.

For me, it’s not about getting back in the kitchen for 15 minute meals, it’s about getting back in the kitchen and staying put. Learning to love it. Letting it become your way of winding-down. Learning just how creative you can be and how rewarding that is.

Cooking, food… They’re not just a necessity, or a need.

They’re 2coulis for that.

Welcome to the site.